What Are Love Languages and How to Discover Yours

As previously mentioned, Chapman states that there are five different love languages, and depending on your personality type, you prefer to give and receive love in different ways.

1. Receiving gifts: Whilst this can sometimes connote materialism, it is more about what the gift means and symbolises, as well as how much thought the person has put into it. It doesn’t have to be a diamond ring (well, not every time anyway!); something as simple as a photo frame of the two of you together on holiday can speak volumes.
2. Physical touch: This love language centres around the idea of affection and physical contact. For couples, this could be through intimacy; however, it doesn’t always have to be. This could be through hugs, kisses, or even something as simple as a back massage when you’re feeling stressed.
3. Affirmations: For others, it is what you say that means the most. This could be through giving compliments or cute pet names. You could send good night and good morning texts to let them know you’re thinking about them. It’s thought people who prefer this love language are more sensitive to insults and arguments, so the expression ‘think before you speak’ could not be more applied.
4. Acts of service: For people whose love language is this, actions speak louder than words. Rather than vocalising your love or appreciation, show them. For example, offer to do a household chore they have on their list or organise a romantic evening out to a restaurant. Even something as simple as making a call to the heating engineer when the boiler plays up is a gesturethey will appreciate.
5. Quality time: This love language centres around the idea of time well spent. People who prefer this will be bugged if you are on your phone or are too busy watching the TV to listen to themwhen you are spending time together. Dedicating time and energy towards them is key, so being a good listener and devoting your full attention to them is what they value the most.

 Now that we have established what the five love languages are, what is your love language? This is down to who you are as an individual. Perhaps there are certain things your partner or the people in your life do for you that stand out and make you feel good. If so, determine which category these acts fall into.

Remember as well that your love language may not be defined by just one of these categories. You could like certain aspects of all of them. So, if ever you find yourself in an argument with your partner and you discover that you both have different expectations for how love and affection should be shown, then take notes and use it as a learning curve! Understanding their personal love language and how it might differ from yours is thought to help strengthen relationships.